Treasured Lessons from my Mother – Lesson 7

Honour your husband even when you don’t feel like it

There were times when I wished my mom would be more vocal or less patient.   There were those times when I would wonder, how does she do it?   It truly takes grace to serve with a humble and kind spirit consistently.

Mom gave up personal dreams to serve at the side of her husband, who was very active in ministry as a Pastor, for most of their married life. He Pastored three different churches during his days as a Pastor, he was also actively involved in evangelism, teaching bible school and counselling.  His active schedules meant, at times, lonely days and lonely nights for mom.

Being a Pastor is no easy job, especially with a wife and family who needs you.  Mom was often the stabilizer at home from the time Dad accepted the call to serve full-time in Leading local churches, evangelizing, teaching and counselling.  Such a call requires much sacrifice on the part of the wife and of course an understanding spirit.

While my parent’s marriage was an example for me to follow; there were certain aspects of it that I would’ve changed, it was not Perfect!!   Mom desired and still desires more effective communication and intimacy (not speaking of sex here – intimacy is much more). But what stands out to me is her faithfulness in service at home despite how she felt, how big her emotional needs were and how much she disagreed with Dad, at times.    She served so well and is still doing it today at the age of seventy-seven.  She was not known to harbor malice,  unforgiveness or bitterness; she was never one to hit back because she felt hurt, instead she would find herself kneeling at her bedside in prayer.  Having a relationship with her Heavenly Father helped her to cope.

I have a vivid picture of mom preparing meals daily for Dad and serving him his food either at the table or wherever he would prefer.  Those servings were always healthy looking, attractive and tasty.   Meals were hardly late.  I also remember her inquiring about his well-being, firmly discouraging him against overworking or pushing himself too much.  She facilitated his comfort, her unconditional love and support made it possible for him to be effective as he sought to obey God’s calling.

Application:  That we who are married mothers, learn to serve our husbands beyond our feelings, loving our husbands unconditionally.  It is our duty to communicate to our children what a healthy marriage looks like.  It is not easy, and it never will be, but submitting ourselves to God’s biblical instructions makes it possible.  Serve with a pure heart and as you serve, trust God to fix the areas in your marriage that needs fixing.

Thank you so much for reading, it was my pleasure to share these Lessons.  There is much more, but I’ll stop hear for now….:)

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