Am I to far away from the scene, from the pain, from the horror? To feel, to cry, to stop and adequately ponder? It happened again, children forced to look into the barrel of the gun. Yes, they are mere children, they’ve only just begun and its over.
It’s slowly becoming the scary norm of our waking up and our lying down. Mentally, I am sick of it, burdened and weary. It’s a sad and distressful hour. And yet, I am not the mother or the father. I am the distanced neighbour.
Am I becoming numb, unsensitive, unmoved? while for others life is now a painful memory pool. God, are you there? Are you really there? Something is terribly twisted and contaminated; darkness lingers around us. How could I offer hope for tomorrow when tomorrow often brings more pain, when the attacks on our children are clearly in vain.
I look out the window and its, dull, dim and still. I stare into the distance and I can see a flicker of silver, a light, a glow. I fear to shift my focus because the light is igniting something inside me. Something that makes me feel like breathing intentionally the breath I received, and to keep breathing again, and to step out and walk towards the light, my hands outstretched reaching out to those who would dare to walk with me.
We choose to walk towards the light, with every step our feet grow stronger and lighter. Together we walk, in the midst of darkness, in pain and in sorrow, confused and bewildered about tomorrow, but we continue to walk. The light gets brighter and our voices are lifted up into a glorious chorus of hope. Somehow, we have been enlightened and now we walk more intentionally, more purposefully, taking two and three, as many as we can take along with us, towards the light.
And so I have concluded that I can choose to be bitter, to hate and incite revenge or I can choose to be prayerful. I choose prayer for I have not prayed enough. Perhaps if I take prayer more seriously more lives would escape the wrath of the evil master. I vow to prayerfully walk towards the light, inviting others to walk with me.
