Single and Committed to Sexual Purity! Is it Possible!

Let me start off by saying that “Life is so beautiful when we are living it!!”  Why do we spend so much time worrying or investing in relationships that are going nowhere!

Are you a teenager or young adult and having difficulty imagining being single and sexually pure?   Consider the following;

Decide, Resolve, Declare!

We need to set goals, standards and expectations for ourselves.   We must first decide what we want in life and consequently identify the things we need to do or not do to achieve those goals.  While our parents are significant players in forming our moral standards and how we see ourselves, we must develop self-awareness, and personal thinking and reasoning abilities as we grow into independence and begin making decisions on our own.  It is not sufficient to have all A’s and B’s or a perfect GPA, you need to have conviction about your goals, your spiritual, moral and social beliefs.   Deciding, resolving and declaring who you are and where you are heading, can be difficult, especially if you are seeking to be guided by the beliefs of others, by what is fashionable and by what is popular.  It is difficult because fashion and popularity and even the belief of others waiver, they change, they are conditional and are often driven by bigger players like, laws, customs and money.

I found one thing to be constant, sound and reliable and that is God and his Word.   Consider building your resolutions and declarations around a God who has a track record for sound decisions, faithfulness, unconditional love and a manual for living, that is practical and relevant no matter how many generations have come and gone.

Build-up, nourish, enrich!

I believe we know ourselves more than anyone else; our weak tendencies, our selfish desires, the things we are trying to overcome.  We all need to be wise, as we seek to enrich ourselves, as we seek to resist the habits and practices that would rob us from a truly fulfilled life.

All you need to do is quickly assess your life.   Do your friends seek to encourage you to do the right thing, are they concerned about your well-being, whether you are happy, the quality of decisions you make.  In other words, do your friends really care?  You need to surround yourself with people who truly care for you.  It means that they would love you enough to caution you of the possible dangers you can encounter because of your choices.

The Word of God would nourish and enrich you, it should not be ignored or taken for granted.  For you to feel the lasting effects of God word, you need to read, meditate and apply it daily.  There are many good books available from you to choose from; in your local bookstores and online, make good use of them.  Reading, momentarily takes you away from your current environment, into another experience, another world that requires you to stretch your imagination, to think.  You find yourself stepping within the covers of the book and it steels your attention away from what is going on around you.  It is important therefore to choose good books; books that would educate you, broaden your perspective and provide insight on matters on common interests.  Seek to choose books that would inspire you to live a purposeful life.

Additionally, in some countries there are clubs you can join, summer programmes and other healthy activities you can participate in.   Volunteering to teach at summer schools or to assist your former school during its annual sports or fair or some other annual activity can be beneficial as well.  The goal here is as you give of yourself and as you serve, you would allow yourself to become more enriched.

Church programmes can be very beneficial.  I wish to warn you about being religious and engaging in activities that makes no sense, activities that are superficial and gives you a false sense of well-being.  Everything we do in life needs to make sense if life is going to be meaningful.  The Lord Jesus did not come to offer religion but rather life and life abundantly; the kind of life that allows you to experience change and to help impact others positively.   Your church should encourage sexual purity as well, through its teaching and its programmes.

Personally, I have found that special events can really boost you, I am speaking of events such as Concerts and Conferences; some of them happens once a year.   Many of them involve people who have experienced extra-ordinary struggles, and miracles and God has raised them up to be a voice.

Date intentionally; Date purposefully!

This article is about living single and remain sexually pure and yet we have not used the word single much and the word “sex” has not been mentioned only once before.  It is important to understand why, staying pure while living single is no magic, it requires effort and discipline and surrounding yourself with the right practices would help to provide that safe zone that would support you, making it easier for you to do the right thing.  Think about it, imagine you have been given a letter, it is in a white envelope and you do not wish for it to get soil.  I would think you would not take it to the garden with you or to the kitchen or to the bathroom; I would think, you would not place in on the floor or anywhere, where it will be exposed to anything that can tarnish its purity. I call it common sense!

If you create the setting that would make it easy for you to make bad decisions and live carelessly, you would surely experience consequences that would cause you to regret.

Bearing this in mind, here are some reasons you should not date someone;

  • Because you don’t want to hurt the person by saying no;
  • Because he or she is popular or cute;
  • Because you are longing to go on a date and this person is going to make it happen;
  • Because you feel pressured by your friends or by your church to go on a date;
  • Because you think time is running out for you; you are getting old.

This can also help; Don’t go dating unless;

  • You are seriously considering marriage in the future;
  • You believe that your time should not be wasted and anytime spent with anyone should be quality time only;
  • You have prayed about it or sought the advice of someone you respect, and you are comfortable doing it.
  • You have both discuss expectations and boundaries and there is no conflict there.
  • Your date is also interested in marriage and It is their desire to date intentionally.

Trust God!

Simply trust God to work things out.  Please understand that even if you put everything in place to ensure your dating is purposeful, it may not work out. simply because it is not meant to be.   Continue to live and enjoy your single-hood.

There is so much I could say, but I don’t believe in giving my readers too much to swallow at one time; conditions for choking, right?

I encourage you not to allow society to pressure you to do anything.   God’s standards for man are still good and comes with numerous perks and blessings.   Live your life with purpose!!

Single and Committed to Sexual Purity! Is it Possible! YES!

Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.”

My Diary – Relationships

Does this describe you?

“I often tell people, I am not in a relationship; I do not have a boyfriend or a girlfriend.  I have friends, and that is all there is to it, we are just friends.  In the back of my mind, I am asking myself, am I being honest?”

Michael and I are good friends, we talk everyday, if I don’t call him or if he doesn’t call me, the day is not the same.   I think of Michael several times during the day.  Michael has other girlfriends, but he is closest to me and they know we have something special.   When it’s Michael’s birthday, I need to get him something special.  Michael sends loving notes and comments to me, he means a lot to me.  He has never officially asked me to be his girlfriend, so, I guess he is not my boyfriend.  I wonder what I would do if he meets a new girl and she becomes his new best friend.

Does this sound like your diary!!


If you want to pursue meaningful relationships, do not just follow the flow, think through all your actions.  If you are “just friends” (male and female) then your expectations should not go beyond being “just friends”.  There is no need to call your “just a friend” everyday, to prove that you care.   You do not need the approval of “just a friend”  before doing something important. Be free to live your life and let your friends know that they will always be your friends, whether you speak to them today or not.  Your “just a friend” does not need to know every personal and intimate detail about you.

Think about it, are you really just friends?

When should I start dating?

Hi there!

I can hear you asking, “When should I start dating?”.

I have some answers for you, hope they would help.

  1. You are ready for dating when you are mature and independent enough to manage a long-term relationship and to commit to marriage for life.
  2. You are ready for dating when you have discovered your identity and you understand yourself and the reason why you were created.
  3. You are ready for dating when inner beauty is more important to you than outer beauty.
  4. You are ready for dating when you have completed your secondary and tertiary education and are engaged in gainful employment.
  5. You are ready for dating when you can communicate effectively with others and are able to manage your emotions well.
  6. You are ready for dating when you have learned to honour and obey your parents (it does not matter your age) and others in authority.
  7. You are ready for dating when you are able to put others first.
  8. You are ready for dating when you have recognised that you need God’s direction and wisdom, to truly succeed in this life.

Now, as teens and young adults, it is healthy for you to have friends (male and female) and to socialise, go out together.  Group activities are best at your age.   They would help you to build great relationships that would last a life time and of course build your social skills, without distracting you from your personal development, and your goals.

More interesting posts coming soon……