Treasured Lessons from my Mother – Lesson 7

Honour your husband even when you don’t feel like it

There were times when I wished my mom would be more vocal or less patient.   There were those times when I would wonder, how does she do it?   It truly takes grace to serve with a humble and kind spirit consistently.

Mom gave up personal dreams to serve at the side of her husband, who was very active in ministry as a Pastor, for most of their married life. He Pastored three different churches during his days as a Pastor, he was also actively involved in evangelism, teaching bible school and counselling.  His active schedules meant, at times, lonely days and lonely nights for mom.

Being a Pastor is no easy job, especially with a wife and family who needs you.  Mom was often the stabilizer at home from the time Dad accepted the call to serve full-time in Leading local churches, evangelizing, teaching and counselling.  Such a call requires much sacrifice on the part of the wife and of course an understanding spirit.

While my parent’s marriage was an example for me to follow; there were certain aspects of it that I would’ve changed, it was not Perfect!!   Mom desired and still desires more effective communication and intimacy (not speaking of sex here – intimacy is much more). But what stands out to me is her faithfulness in service at home despite how she felt, how big her emotional needs were and how much she disagreed with Dad, at times.    She served so well and is still doing it today at the age of seventy-seven.  She was not known to harbor malice,  unforgiveness or bitterness; she was never one to hit back because she felt hurt, instead she would find herself kneeling at her bedside in prayer.  Having a relationship with her Heavenly Father helped her to cope.

I have a vivid picture of mom preparing meals daily for Dad and serving him his food either at the table or wherever he would prefer.  Those servings were always healthy looking, attractive and tasty.   Meals were hardly late.  I also remember her inquiring about his well-being, firmly discouraging him against overworking or pushing himself too much.  She facilitated his comfort, her unconditional love and support made it possible for him to be effective as he sought to obey God’s calling.

Application:  That we who are married mothers, learn to serve our husbands beyond our feelings, loving our husbands unconditionally.  It is our duty to communicate to our children what a healthy marriage looks like.  It is not easy, and it never will be, but submitting ourselves to God’s biblical instructions makes it possible.  Serve with a pure heart and as you serve, trust God to fix the areas in your marriage that needs fixing.

Thank you so much for reading, it was my pleasure to share these Lessons.  There is much more, but I’ll stop hear for now….:)

Treasured Lessons from My Mother – Lesson 6

You can overcome

My mom’s childhood is very similar to many, instability at home and poverty.   She struggled as she sought to find her identity fighting defeating thoughts about herself, even after turning to God as a teenager.   Through her determination to discover more about God and to trust in his promises, she overcame.   She overcame, and it allowed her to minister effectively to her husband and her children and to many hurting people she met in her journey through life.

Because of her testimony, I have adopted the same attitude, that by pursuing God and his word and by trusting in his promises, I can overcome anything.   I have found that one of the fiercest battles in one’s life can be the battle of the mind.  I have learnt and I am still learning how to guard my mind from destructive thoughts, beliefs and perceptions.  Mom thought us how to preserve our mind and our heart, how to embrace love, joy and peace, how to think only on the things that were just, and lovely, and of good virtue.  She confessed with her mouth, the victory bestowed upon us by God himself; she claimed it, it became her survival mechanism or rather God became her survival mechanism..

Like many others, Mom has won the battle against negative thoughts, a poor self image and fear of speaking up.  She read and memorized scripture passages that renewed her mind, established hope and exposed the real nature of the Evil One, who is fixed towards destroying men.

She really believed that she was valuable to God and that he had a purpose for her even as a stay-at-home Mom and Pastor’s wife; she certainly discovered that she was not a loser or a lost and defeated nobody but rather a Queen, worthy of being considered and thought of by the most powerful being in this earth.   Now that she has overcome, she is living in God’s freedom even in the midst of many who are still trapped in personal bondage.

Application:  We can easily sink into depression and self-pity, if we allow ourselves to focus on the negative experiences of growing up.  Instead look for the lessons to be learnt and embrace them.  Get to know God by reading the Bible regularly and understand what he thinks about you and the wonderful plans he has for you.  Only God can help you understand the correct perception of you.  He describes you as wonderfully made and made in His Image; that’s just awesome!!

Final Lesson on Thursday……

Treasured Lessons from my Mother – Lesson 5

Passionately intercede in prayer for your children daily

No matter, what your children have done, no matter how far they have drifted from God or how long they take to come back home, keep offering those prayers to heaven on their behalf;  something will happen eventually.   I firmly believe that the prayers of a faithful mother accomplishes a lot and it is a commitment all mothers should make.   Praying daily for your children is a necessity and it comes from a mother who deeply loves and cares about the welfare of her children; from the time they are born until the time she leaves this earth.

The Word of God says “Ask and it shall be given”.   Shouldn’t we start asking on behalf of our children, even before they are born.  I am sure it would place them at an advantage.   Ask God to draw them to him at an early age, ask Him to give them a hunger for righteousness, ask Him to bless them with intelligence and wisdom and let them be a beacon to those they meet.   ASK!

Talking to God on the behalf of our children shows that we recognise that they are only gifts to us and it is our God-given awesome responsibility to grow them up to reverence God and that involves lots of praying as well.

Application:    Start praying daily for your children!  Do not be too busy, invest significant time praying for them daily.  Be specific in your prayer, you can pray for anything and everything; for them to excel in school, for them to choose the right career, for them to choose the right spouse and more importantly for them to reverence God!!  In addition to praying daily, sometimes the Holy Spirit alerts you that something is wrong and he urges you to pray “NOW”, don’t hesitate, stop whatever you are doing and obediently pray.

more on Tuesday……

Treasured Lessons from my Mother – Lesson 4

“Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the World.”

Well, my Mother always spoke to the Devil! “Get thee behind me Satan!”  I learnt at a young age that there is evil and there is good but if I would trust in God, who is more powerful than the Devil, I will be fine.   It was more than just saying “Get thee behind me Satan!”.  I learned as a little girl that my mind was always tossing up good and evil thoughts, seeking to fight back against temptations to be disrespectful or disobedient.   I knew at a young age that there was a special blessing of long life, joy and peace if I choose to obey God and not my feelings.   I learnt that the Devil had no control over me, unless I let him.

There was a little song we learnt at Sunday School, which in my view, was quite popular.

It goes like this:

“Get thee behind me Satan, Get thee away.  I don’t want anything to do with you today.   Get thee Behind me Satan, Get thee away.  I want to be a Christian Soldier and I want to learn to pray”.

My Mom, knew the word of God, so she knew that the one who lived within us was mightier than the evil one. She knew that we (those who truly believe in Christ), through the Holy Spirit, can overcome any temptation, hence we can boldly say “Get thee behind me Satan”!

Application: May we be mothers who read the word of God and seek to understand and believe it.   Part of understanding God’s word is applying it when having discussions with our children, when disciplining and guiding them towards safe living, living outside of the devil’s clutches. Assist your children in memorizing this verse: 1 John 4:4;  “Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the World.

More lessons on Saturday…..

Treasured Lessons from my Mother – Lesson 3

“You are beautiful!”

I must credit my mom for the way I feel about myself.  These words are embedded in my mind forever!

The first place where I understood what beauty was and how beautiful I was, was at home, as the words came from my mother’s lips, “You are beautiful”.  My mom was my greatest admirer, she frequently told me about my beautiful attributes, physically and otherwise; she made me feel good about myself.  Growing-up, Mom was my sanctuary for down times or those times when I needed to be reminded that my beauty was not defined by others.  While I desired acceptance by my peers, deep down, it really did not matter what others thought about me; my mother said, I was beautiful and that is what mattered.

Mom’s words served to build me up, it gave me confidence to face the world.   I look back now, and I see how intentional she was, making a point to instill values of self-acceptance and love of one’s self.  Mother, knew when I was sad and quickly applied a double-portion of her loving words and hugs (even when I did not feel like hearing or feeling them), to brighten my day.

Women often walk the streets and feel uncomfortable (I guess men too these days) when strange men see them and comment about a part of their body they admire and sometimes it could be so embarrassing to hear what comes out of their mouths.  You feel violated just by their lustful expressions.

I remember returning home from school and even from work, as a young adult and sharing these disturbing moments with my mother and she always found a way to get me back on track, feeling awesome and beautiful again.   Today, I am thankful that very early in my life, I was thought that I am beautiful, and subconsciously, even now, as a mother, I am still trying to live up to the standard set for me by my Mother.

Application:   As parents, it is our duty to let our children know how beautiful and how special they are.  Let them know they have beautiful eyes or beautiful teeth, beautiful skin or beautiful smiles; tell them daily.  It is our duty as parents to allow our children to develop a healthy perception of themselves early.  Having a correct perception of one self can lead to that child’s ability to guard him/herself from destructive criticisms.

 

Special Promotion!! Ongoing until offers are claimed! NO LONGER AVAILABLE!

Today, marks the start of a special promotion, geared toward encouraging more persons to subscribe to my blog; inspireothersonline.com.

The first two persons to subscribe and to get three (3) other people to subscribe will receive one of the lovely necklaces in the featured picture above.   This first offer is extended to readers in my home country, Grenada! Don’t worry, there will be other offers for other destinations.

Before I tell you how you can get this special offer, let me tell you more about the items being offered:

The pendants of the featured necklaces were hand-made by Roland Benjamin, a contemporary visual Artist, who is from Grenada.  He creates art using valuable resources that we find in our environment.  Roland believes in the power of creative ingenuity and design, and has a passion for working with wood, leather and other fine precious metal.

The Pendant on the left is made of White Cedar, decorated with Wilks’ (Sea Snails) Shells, with a strip of leather at the top.  The pieces are tied together using copper wire. The Pendant on the right is made of Campeche Wood, with a Ring of Coral and again Wilks’ Shells.  The pieces are tied together using stainless steel.

When I saw these pendants, I thought they were beautiful and I decided, while I would love to keep them, I would rather enjoy the thrill of giving them away.  So, with the help of “This and That” Craft Shop in Grenada, I added silk twine to the one on the left and a suede chord to the one on the right, with rings and clasps, making them into exquisite necklaces.  I really love them, and I hope whoever is blessed to get them would love them and take  very good care of them.   The pieces of wood (white Cedar & Campeche) can be maintained by applying a little mineral oil every now and them.

Now, this is how you can get one of these beautiful necklaces:

  1. Access my blog through https://inspireothersonline.com
  2. Scroll down until you see the “subscribe” box on your right and follow the instructions to subscribe, which would also include going to your e-mail inbox to complete the process.
  3. Read a few of the articles and think of friends or family members who can be inspired by these articles, or who you would love to encourage to read more.
  4. Contact them and encourage them to subscribe also.
  5. You need to get at least three (3) persons to subscribe. Once that is accomplished, send me an e-mail with the names and e-mail addresses of the three persons who have subscribed, so I can confirm it on my end. E-mail me at fleurjerry4@gmail.com.   Remember, you need to subscribe first and be able to share with others on articles that have inspired you.

Anticipating your e-mails!! 😊

If you wish to find out more about the unique items produced by Mr. Roland Benjamin, you can contact him on telephone no. 1-473-457-8499

Treasured lessons from my Mother – Lesson 2

“Be industrious, work with your hands skillfully.”

As a child, my family ate home-made snacks like, fudge, sugar-cake, “tolum”, caramel pop-corn (crack-a-jack), sweet rolls, buns, cookies, sweet potato pudding, plum stew, damsel stew, guava stew, tambarind balls, paw paw balls, milk & sugar, farine & sugar (yes, I am serious), and the list goes on.

My mom was good at cooking, baking, cleaning, ironing, gardening, writing, counselling and teaching.  She was also a Designer and a Seamstress, sewing beautiful dresses for her daughters.

Our home was always fairly clean, (not spotless ☹); it was easy to find stuff and it was always tastefully decorated, of course within our affordability, because we were not rich nor middle class.

Mom was a farmer, she raised chickens for the purpose of eggs and for cooking, she produced coconut oil, tomato catch-up and vinegar.   Yes!!.  Thinking about it, she was a local manufacturer; she was actually into agro-processing, all for the consumption of family, neighbors and friends.

She certainly showed me how to be make very good use of the hands God has given me.   Trust me, I am no where close to competing with such a record for industrious behavior.

Because Mom was industrious, our food choices were very healthy!  Because Mom was industrious, we knew we could be industrious too, it was all about choice.   Because Mom was industrious, we never went hungry. Because Mom was industrious, we have great memories that bonds us today as siblings.

Mom is much older now, she is still industrious, while she is not doing as much as she used, but that’s ok, because, for she certainly did not waste time with her hands, when it mattered and we are all grown now!

Application: When we are industrious, we create a way out of our need, building beautiful memories.  When we are industrious, we are actually being obedient to the word of God, which admonishes us not to be slothful, or to hate work, but rather to use our gifts, talents and abilities, to be good keepers of our homes and to be hospitable.

More lessons from my Mom on Tuesday……..

Treasured lessons from my Mother! – Lesson 1

Do you know the saying “Kids say the darnest things”?  Well, I think mothers say the most precious things.

“Be wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove”. 

These are the words my Mother told me almost every day as I left for school.  I treasured those words and took heed to them, as she hoped.   Many years later, today, I am realizing, how rich and powerful those words were and still are.    The origin of these words are:  Matthew 10:16 which says “Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents and harmless as doves.”  In this passage, Jesus was speaking to his Disciples as he prepared them to preach to the world, giving them spiritual advice.  He is actually teaching them to be like Him.  My understanding is that the word “wise” in this context has more to do with being shrewd (sharp, smart), someone who plans carefully, strategizing in such a way to get his mission accomplished and at the same time not ruining his testimony (be also harmless as doves).

My mother never knew what each day would bring forth, as we as children stepped out to embrace each day, hoping to return home safely.  She knew however,  that the world was a dangerous place and people could be mean, she also knew that we could be negatively influenced by people who did not have our best interest at heart.  By repeating this statement to us daily, she sought to amplify the scriptures in such a way that it became memorable, almost as if it was written on our foreheads.  As a result, I was constantly reminded to choose wisely.

Application:  If we ought to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves, it means that we need to think carefully before making decisions, even before we speak.   We should seek to make sure that our decisions do not cause us to inflict harm on ourselves and others.  

Look out for more lessons from my mom……I am sure you have learnt many lessons from your mom as well.  Feel free to share as a comment.

A Mother’s role – Featuring the Beutow Family

When we think about living purposeful lives as parents, we ought to always remember that we have a very important responsibility.   From the time you conceive and there is a baby growing in your womb, to the day you die, your responsibility as a mother is with you.  What we need to understand is that as our kids grow their needs change and it requires you to be adaptable and sensitive to those needs, if you are going  to continue playing a significant role in their lives.

Sometime in February or early March, I was scrolling through my Facebook home page and an article written by one of my F.B. friends caught my eye.  Once I started reading, I wanted to read it to the end.  I immediately connected with the story, as a parent, and also, because it came across as sincere and honest and yet tenderly sweet and touching.   Immediately, I thought, this is so good, others should read it; or rather, the world should read it.   My friend was simply sharing her heart, and her experience, as a Mother of three.

I linked her up after reading it and asked if I can share her thoughts/story on my blog.    I am so happy she said yes, and because she did, you too can read it.  Thank you Misty!

This piece of writing is more of an inspirational testimony or reminder of the precious things in life: Written by Misty Beutow, on February 26th, 2018.  Misty is a Godly Stay-at-Home Mom seeking to honour God in her service as a mother and a wife.

Here is her short story. (Featured pic; Misty & Andrew)

“Yesterday Andrew and I took a short road trip; it’s about a 2-hour drive.  For the first 30 mins or so, we enjoyed our road trip snacks and had great conversation.   After a bit he wanted to read his book, but the sun was too bright, so he hopped in the back seat.,,,,,,silence.

Then, on the way home, he wanted to read his book, more silence.   As he sat in the back reading and I drove in the quiet, I began to think back on what my mother-in-law said over the weekend. “When I walked into your house, it was different.  It used to be chaos, loud and crazy.   Now I walk in and it’s so quiet.”

It’s a new stage of life at our house; gone are the days of diapers and “sippy-cups”.   No more pulling on my pant leg and crawling up in my lap.  No more, mommy can you get me a snack.  No more cleaning up mess after mess after mess, only to find another mess.  Those days were exhausting; 3 children, ages 3 and under, can wear a mama out.

But things are different now. While my kids may not have the mindless and yet physically exhausting demands, they still need their mom. They may not need me to make them a snack, tie their shoes or kiss their ouchies, but they do need me emotionally.  They need spiritual guidance; they need me to help them navigate their independence. They need a shoulder to cry on when their heart is hurting and they need me to be their biggest cheer leader and greatest fan.

As your kids get older, and they seem to be more independent, don’t pull away from them.  Don’t let them do too much of their own thing.  It may seem like they don’t need you, but they do. Now more than ever, they need your guidance.  They need you to point them to Christ, they need you to teach them how to love when they want to fight. They need you now more than ever!  So, while there maybe silence (And you thoroughly enjoy it😉) there is still a need for you, mama ❤”

The Beutow Family.

Hope you mothers are inspired to gracefully embrace every stage of your child’s life.

Achieving a glorious marriage

Today, the rate of divorce continues to surprise us as we continue to believe that marriage should be a “till death do us part” kind of committment that is sacred, honourable and to be desired.     We are shaken,  and in awe of the many stories we hear of broken marriages, some of these marriages, we perceived to be rock solid and well on their way to celebrating their silver anniversary and more.   Our children are growing up with a dim hope that they can be happily married to the same person for all their adult life.   The world has changed, the family foundation and the sound moral values, that guarded marriage and the family, are now threatened by man’s wish to do as he pleases, without respect for an Almighty God.   Marriages are falling as if gravity finally got a hold of them, sad but true.

But God!   Despite the reality of the trend most visible in our Society, there are some marriages that make it and I mean their truly make it,  not just survive but enjoy a healthy relationship that provides a sense of completeness and well-being and they do so by paying attention to the core principles (as God intended it) necessary for a successful marriage.

This blog is about inspiring others to fulfill their God-given-purpose.  So, think with me, if it’s God’s intention for you to be together, then your purpose on this earth is better achieved together? Think!

If you believe this, then you will put the necessary energy and effort into making your relationship work.  You will invest in your PURPOSE.   It requires, communication, honesty, trust, empathy and compassion, forgiveness, loyalty, tenderness and romance,…whew!  Yes, it takes effort, but effort that would pay-off allowing you to experience  glorious marriage.

Glorious; my definition of “glorious” is “out of this world” and what I mean is that you can have such a quality relationship that  others would wonder if it is real, simply because it is “out of this world”.  It is the kind of marriage everybody dreams of but are not willing to work towards.  Very few couples are willing to take the heat, to stick with it until victory arrives, to be patient enough to understand their spouse and humble enough to admit that they are wrong.  We love running when the going gets tough and rough and ugly.   If we keep running, if we keep looking for the exit door, we would never experience a glorious marriage.   I choose the term “glorious” because I am speaking with the understanding that we are expected to grow in our marriages as God breaks the stubborn areas in our lives, melts us so that we can be easily handled and then moulds us into a beautiful golden vessel that he can be proud of.  What he has done is create a glorious marriage for the world to see and believe that in Christ all things are possible.

Your dreams combined; your individual dreams shared.

Permit me to delve a bit deeper, looking at how we can link purpose to the marriage experience.  If you count the number of persons walking the aisle you would see two, their features are different, one is male and the other female, and if you were to spend one minute with each of them, you would notice they are two completely different persons, different personalities, different interests, likes and dislikes.  When a couple says “I do” they are beginning a journey as two different people, having different dreams, interests and appetites. Oh, let’s not forget the family background that is sometimes miles apart.

If God has brought us together, it means that as much as we think those dreams are different, we are actually compatible.   I must admit that in some cases our dreams go against God’s plan for our lives and as such it creates problems, conflict and chaos and it becomes necessary to sacrifice that dream for a glorious marriage.   This requires a serious thought process, lots of discussions together and prayer. However, if you both have a peace in pursuing your individual dreams you must be willing to be each other’s cheer leader.  You got to spur each other to the finishing line.   As we say in the Caribbean, “big up them up”, you got to “big up” each other.  Do not allow jealousy to take over, instead do what you can to support and help your spouse; you would celebrate together when the desired goal is achieved.  Such celebrations are typical of glorious marriages.  Let me stick in a quick point here, we need to be careful about allowing traditional perceptions about “dreams” to bind us in a religious fix that stifles our talents and gifts.  You were created by God, seek his guidance on how to use what he has given you, don’t stifle it to please anyone.  God would show you what is pleasing to him.

Many times we allow fear to enter our hearts thinking that if our spouse excel he/she would outgrow us.  Fear has no part in our marriages, try replacing your fear with involvement, become involved in your spouse’s journey while you are also pursuing your dreams.   Blend your activities and tasks together for example, if your husband is meeting with a group of men to discuss ways to inspire younger men, you can choose that time to write, supposing that you are a young writer, trying to develop your writing skills; you can probably write an article about inspirational men.  Or, maybe you can meet with the wives of these husbands and inspire them to better support their husbands.  Look for the opportunities to blend your dreams together.

Here is a personal example, I think my husband is a fair speaker and has the potential of becoming a very good speaker and later an excellent one.   When he speaks, I love taking notes, as he often shares deep provoking life changing truths.  This then spills into my love for writing as a new blogger.  His messages gives me food for thought and stirs up my passion to share with others, so, very easily, an article comes to life.  His dream to become an excellent communicator and to motivate others and my dream to inspire the world through my writing is a perfect blend. Here is another example, my husband has a remarkable appetite for class and it is clear in his choice of clothing, I love designing and greatly admire is choices; “light bulb moment”, he fits in well with my passion to design, and inspire the world to dress purposefully.

I hope this got you thinking and has ignited even more interest in what I have to say;  remember, it is all about purpose.

The negative twist to this is that sometimes our dreams are dangerously like oil and water, no amount of efforts to blend would work.  All they create is conflict and chaos.  Maybe they rob you from spending quality time with each other and even more so, with God.   Your dreams should not sap the life out of your marriage but rather enrich it.  Most importantly,  if it goes against God’s instructions and his perfect plan for your life, you would need to give it up, even when it is hard to do.

Shared friends; shared experiences

I have a serious problem with people, whether male of female, who take particular care to be friends with our spouses and rudely ignore the existence of their husband or wife.  In other words there is no interest in being friendly to them or in accepting their friendship.  It is important that you both resolve, to manage your friendships, so that people you meet would know that you are one with your spouse, and not searching for any secret or special friendships.   Secrets destroy healthy relationships.  Someone’s interest in your husband or wife should extend to ensuring that their friendship offers spiritual encouragement that would build his/her  marriage and his/her family; this is true and honest friendship.     Today, social media makes it convenient for secret relationships to be pursued.  Let me warn you however, everything comes to light and secrets on social media are not really secrets.  Therefore be wise and use social media to inspire and build up others and make sure inclusion is practiced.  Eg:  If a friend enquire about your well being, you can say “God has been good to me and my family, I can’t complain”. This is one of my favourite answers :).

It is a pretty sight when your friends become your spouse’s friends and your spouse’s friends become your friends and together there is a wholesome friendship that seeks to build each other up.  This brings me back to before marriage; I had some really cool friends, in fact, we both had some really cool friends, but after marriage only a few of those cool friends became our friends and are still our friends today.  There is no attempt to isolate the husband or the wife, “inclusion” is the motto of the day; we have respect for each other and because of that we have been able to keep up a healthy friendship.   I would always love and cherish them; they are special to me and to us.

There is no excuse for secret or special friendships that isolates your spouse; none, zero.  If you think of one, be sure to let me know.

You see, we are often guilty of seeking alternative trills, when we can find it right “under the same roof”, in the same vehicle, on the same sofa, on the same bed, in the same kitchen or garden or church or family gathering.  Your spouse has everything you need, go discover and rediscover; it’s your privilege.   Think about it, you can rediscover your spouse as many times as you wish.

Secret relationships can lead to extra marital affairs, or it can lead to you crossing certain boundaries that can seriously threaten your marriage.

Another sneaker danger is that your friendship may be known as a family friendship, but your conversations and encounters are not, so it becomes a secret friendship within a “supposed family friendship” and often times it is justified by thinking that he or she is a family friend when the truth is that the family relationship has been compromised, as now two persons are looking after their own interests, and in so doing, threatens the couple’s ability to experience a glorious marriage as their friendship is creating a distraction or a diversion .   Such sneaky relationships are not healthy.   Be transparent, be open, be honest and stay connected with your spouse by rooting out any relationship that does not help to bring you closer as a couple or a family.

Protect your spouse; guard their vulnerability

Could you imagine sharing everything with your spouse and he or she decides to spill it to someone else.    Scary!   Your enemies are just waiting to swallow it, digest it and spit it out in your face.  If someone comes to you and begins to share their spouse’s secrets with you, please ask them to stop, you do not need to know such details.   Remind them of the need to be trustworthy and to protect their spouse, no matter what they may be going through.   If as a couple you are facing difficulties and need to talk to someone, it is better that you agree, with your spouse, who your Confident will be.  We all need counsel from time to time.

But husband and wife have weaknesses and should not seek to trample on each other’s weak areas but rather encourage each other to grow.  You can explore reading books together on relevant topics, attending seminars, listening to talk shows or messages on the topic of interest. Whatever you do, approach each other’s weaknesses in love, with patience, remembering that you too are in need of growth in some area or areas of your life.  Do not allow your emotions to take the best of you, complaining to others about your spouse. Choose to embrace your spouse as a complete person, with strengths and weaknesses, not just weaknesses.  Most times our strengths outweigh our weaknesses. but we choose to focus on the negative.   Most times, where you are weak your spouse  may be strong or not as weak, it means that you can help each other to grow or you can compensate for each other.

Spiritual evaluations  

Ever so often, as couples, we need to check ourselves in light of a set of rules.  For some it may be the rules of society, or the rules of a religious sect or the rules of a society or club.    For others like me, it’s the Holy Bible, it’s the Holy Spirit that lives within me nudging me left, right, keeping me focused.  Within the pages of the Holy Bible, I can find answers.

We can all find answers, there are answers in the bible for every couple, every struggling marriage, every confused purpose and vision.  Often it requires waiting, and listening.  Sometimes we act immaturely and we “jump the gun” hoping to resolve matters in our own strength, thus straying from the path you are on and from your purpose.   We must stay focus and understand that our spouse is God’s gift to us and he knows exactly how to fix him or her, how to fix you and how to fix the biggest problem you have ever encountered.   It is all for his glory and honour.  If you choose to give up, you would miss out the opportunity to see God do great miracles in your relationship and you would not have the testimony of a Glorious Marriage.  This testimony can only come through consistent efforts on your part and complete obedience to God.

I do hope this article would urge you to work towards excellence in your marriage and would inspire you to treasure your spouse and your marriage.

If you wish to discuss the contents of this article, please do not hesitate to send me your comments.   Feel free to share with others as well.