Special Promotion!! Ongoing until offers are claimed! NO LONGER AVAILABLE!

Today, marks the start of a special promotion, geared toward encouraging more persons to subscribe to my blog; inspireothersonline.com.

The first two persons to subscribe and to get three (3) other people to subscribe will receive one of the lovely necklaces in the featured picture above.   This first offer is extended to readers in my home country, Grenada! Don’t worry, there will be other offers for other destinations.

Before I tell you how you can get this special offer, let me tell you more about the items being offered:

The pendants of the featured necklaces were hand-made by Roland Benjamin, a contemporary visual Artist, who is from Grenada.  He creates art using valuable resources that we find in our environment.  Roland believes in the power of creative ingenuity and design, and has a passion for working with wood, leather and other fine precious metal.

The Pendant on the left is made of White Cedar, decorated with Wilks’ (Sea Snails) Shells, with a strip of leather at the top.  The pieces are tied together using copper wire. The Pendant on the right is made of Campeche Wood, with a Ring of Coral and again Wilks’ Shells.  The pieces are tied together using stainless steel.

When I saw these pendants, I thought they were beautiful and I decided, while I would love to keep them, I would rather enjoy the thrill of giving them away.  So, with the help of “This and That” Craft Shop in Grenada, I added silk twine to the one on the left and a suede chord to the one on the right, with rings and clasps, making them into exquisite necklaces.  I really love them, and I hope whoever is blessed to get them would love them and take  very good care of them.   The pieces of wood (white Cedar & Campeche) can be maintained by applying a little mineral oil every now and them.

Now, this is how you can get one of these beautiful necklaces:

  1. Access my blog through https://inspireothersonline.com
  2. Scroll down until you see the “subscribe” box on your right and follow the instructions to subscribe, which would also include going to your e-mail inbox to complete the process.
  3. Read a few of the articles and think of friends or family members who can be inspired by these articles, or who you would love to encourage to read more.
  4. Contact them and encourage them to subscribe also.
  5. You need to get at least three (3) persons to subscribe. Once that is accomplished, send me an e-mail with the names and e-mail addresses of the three persons who have subscribed, so I can confirm it on my end. E-mail me at fleurjerry4@gmail.com.   Remember, you need to subscribe first and be able to share with others on articles that have inspired you.

Anticipating your e-mails!! 😊

If you wish to find out more about the unique items produced by Mr. Roland Benjamin, you can contact him on telephone no. 1-473-457-8499

Treasured lessons from my Mother – Lesson 2

“Be industrious, work with your hands skillfully.”

As a child, my family ate home-made snacks like, fudge, sugar-cake, “tolum”, caramel pop-corn (crack-a-jack), sweet rolls, buns, cookies, sweet potato pudding, plum stew, damsel stew, guava stew, tambarind balls, paw paw balls, milk & sugar, farine & sugar (yes, I am serious), and the list goes on.

My mom was good at cooking, baking, cleaning, ironing, gardening, writing, counselling and teaching.  She was also a Designer and a Seamstress, sewing beautiful dresses for her daughters.

Our home was always fairly clean, (not spotless ☹); it was easy to find stuff and it was always tastefully decorated, of course within our affordability, because we were not rich nor middle class.

Mom was a farmer, she raised chickens for the purpose of eggs and for cooking, she produced coconut oil, tomato catch-up and vinegar.   Yes!!.  Thinking about it, she was a local manufacturer; she was actually into agro-processing, all for the consumption of family, neighbors and friends.

She certainly showed me how to be make very good use of the hands God has given me.   Trust me, I am no where close to competing with such a record for industrious behavior.

Because Mom was industrious, our food choices were very healthy!  Because Mom was industrious, we knew we could be industrious too, it was all about choice.   Because Mom was industrious, we never went hungry. Because Mom was industrious, we have great memories that bonds us today as siblings.

Mom is much older now, she is still industrious, while she is not doing as much as she used, but that’s ok, because, for she certainly did not waste time with her hands, when it mattered and we are all grown now!

Application: When we are industrious, we create a way out of our need, building beautiful memories.  When we are industrious, we are actually being obedient to the word of God, which admonishes us not to be slothful, or to hate work, but rather to use our gifts, talents and abilities, to be good keepers of our homes and to be hospitable.

More lessons from my Mom on Tuesday……..

Treasured lessons from my Mother! – Lesson 1

Do you know the saying “Kids say the darnest things”?  Well, I think mothers say the most precious things.

“Be wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove”. 

These are the words my Mother told me almost every day as I left for school.  I treasured those words and took heed to them, as she hoped.   Many years later, today, I am realizing, how rich and powerful those words were and still are.    The origin of these words are:  Matthew 10:16 which says “Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents and harmless as doves.”  In this passage, Jesus was speaking to his Disciples as he prepared them to preach to the world, giving them spiritual advice.  He is actually teaching them to be like Him.  My understanding is that the word “wise” in this context has more to do with being shrewd (sharp, smart), someone who plans carefully, strategizing in such a way to get his mission accomplished and at the same time not ruining his testimony (be also harmless as doves).

My mother never knew what each day would bring forth, as we as children stepped out to embrace each day, hoping to return home safely.  She knew however,  that the world was a dangerous place and people could be mean, she also knew that we could be negatively influenced by people who did not have our best interest at heart.  By repeating this statement to us daily, she sought to amplify the scriptures in such a way that it became memorable, almost as if it was written on our foreheads.  As a result, I was constantly reminded to choose wisely.

Application:  If we ought to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves, it means that we need to think carefully before making decisions, even before we speak.   We should seek to make sure that our decisions do not cause us to inflict harm on ourselves and others.  

Look out for more lessons from my mom……I am sure you have learnt many lessons from your mom as well.  Feel free to share as a comment.

It’s your marriage – Be intimate!

Hi Guys and Gals,

Just sending some encouragement along your way to keep your Marriage bubbly and meaningful.  Remember to LIVE!!  Please don’t shy away from these issues.

intimacy in marriage is not just about having sexual intercourse, it is much more.

Here are six easy tips for practicing intimacy;

For the Men;

  • Invite your wife to take a walk with you in the moonlight and hold her hand while you walk, while hugging her often.
  • When it is quiet and you are alone, ask her how her day was and caress her back while she speaks.
  • Read for her an article that you found interesting (try to avoid harsh topics, like politics, news bulletins or a negative report). Select an interesting topic, maybe about becoming more positive, learning to cope with life, helping children to develop wholesomely etc.
  • Lie in bed and reminisce about the times when you were dating or the early years of your marriage.
  • Whisper intimate messages in her ear, when others are around – you may be surprised how this makes her feel.
  • Make up a love song or a poem about her and sing or read it to her.

For the Women:

  • Let your husband know how safe he makes you feel, how important He is to you feeling complete. Express to him in words how you feel about him.
  • Make a special effort not to be distracted with the kids and just focus on him for a while. It is just making that special effort to serve him, don’t over-do it though, so it comes across as if you are trying desperately to impress.
  • Watch a movie together and place your head on his lap or place his head on your lap.
  • Ask him about his day and be ready to listen when he begins to share. Do not interrupt him!
  • Offer him a massage at the end of a long day and do it after you have both had your evening bath.
  • Call him during the day just to say “I love you!”!

 

 

Being a supportive spouse

 

I think one of the most special things of a married relationship is being accepted by your spouse.  This acceptance comes with the acknowledgement that you are two different people, coming together in Holy Matrimony, to enrich and complement each other and to impact the world positively, as a couple. Life, therefore, should be better together.

If the husband is a social butterfly, it is quite possible that the wife may be more of a quiet, reserved personality.  While the husband may be outgoing and love crowds, the wife may prefer to socialize among family and close friends.  What is important here is understanding your spouse, and this begins before marriage, during courtship.  You are different, and you are meant to be different, to enrich the lives of each other.

I am amazed how God brings people together, but sad to say, many times we don’t see the joint purpose God wants to fulfill in our lives, we see ourselves.  We often seek to act as single men and women when we are married; we have certainly missed “THE POINT”.  If you are both committed however to a better marriage, getting the point and staying on-point, is still possible.

It is true that even as married couples God needs to work through us individually, but more so, he needs to work through us as a couple, as a single unit.  He has a reason for bringing us together.  Sadly, we often hinder that plan by not embracing the uniqueness of our spouse; their personalities, their gifts, their natural strengths and weaknesses.  I believe, if God must use us as a couple, we must be open to the fact that our compatibility exists because of our differences and that we must be allowed to grow individually, so that the “us” unit could grow as well.

What are some of the things that hinders us as husbands and wives from really accepting each other and encouraging each other to explore our gifts and talents and to work on our weaknesses?   How is it that God has brought us together and we are meant to be a suitable help to our spouses and yet we struggle with issues for so long and our marriages become stagnant.  We struggle with issues when God has already provided a built-in capacity as strengths, gifts and special abilities, in our spouse.  Perhaps we are too critical of our spouses’ weaknesses that we cannot see their inner beauty.      

The question again is why?  What has gone wrong or is going wrong in the marriage where both spouses feel they are not supported, by the other, in their quest to carry out God’s will for their lives?

Here are some possible reasons

  1. Pride
  2. Unforgiveness
  3. Jealousy….Really?
  4. Selfishness
  5. An unthankful, complaining spirit
  6. Lack of faith

Before we get into each of these possible reasons, let us look at a few verses from the Book of Books, the Holy Bible:

Genesis 2: 22-24

“And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman and brought her unto the man.  And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.  Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

Isn’t this a wonderful picture of God’s intention for man and woman?   Think about how it all started; woman, taken out of Man.  She is called “woman” by man himself and she is described by him as “bone of my bones” and “flesh of my flesh” Oh what a lovely picture.   It represents a sweet bond, a sweet relationship, and you get the picture of “I got your back and you got my back”.  We are one or rather we are designed to be one.  We leave, and we cleave to each other.  This certainly does not describe separation, division, fighting against each other and instead of lifting and building each other up, cutting each other down.  These verses present a picture of a beautiful relationship where the man and the woman are designed to exist together as ONE and to enjoy each other.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-11

“Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their Labour.  For if they fall, the one will lift-up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.  Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?”

Certainly, marriage is an ideal picture of how “two can be better than one.”

I John 4:12 says “No man hath seen God at any time.  If we love one another, God dwelleth in us and his love is perfected in us.”

I use this verse because I think, love really starts at home; it begins with how we treat each other, how we accept each other and how we seek to edify each other. 

Pride:

If you or your spouse are not willing to admit that help is needed or there is a weak area in your life, that needs to be worked on, you would never be able to move on, to grow and to experience victory.  Many times, our spouses can be our greatest counsellor; we are expected to be friends, right? Sadly, we hold on to our pride at times, pretending to be who we are not, even in marriages where vulnerability is necessary for intimacy and growing together.  

Real men and women admit to their flaws, this is what we see in the Bible; David, Moses, the Disciples, Paul.  They could only embrace God’s will for their lives after realizing that they were so full of sin, so desperately in need of his help and his life-transforming power.   I have realized that our spouses know us so well that they are able to alert, or warn us, when it is needed the most.  God also allows us to feel and to sense certain things about our spouse that they may not readily see. As spouses, we grow to understand the weaknesses and strengths of each other and in many cases bear within ourselves the solution to problems.

If we understand the purpose of our spouse in our lives, we would not erect a wall of pride or become defensive when we are corrected or constructively criticized.   A loving sensitive spouse would want to criticize in love for the benefit of his/her spouse; there is absolutely nothing to be defensive about.

Being puffed up would not help our relationship to flourish, instead we would be disarming our marriage from a God-given protective zone, discouraging your spouse to be the first to pull you aside and lovingly show you the dangers lurking outside your window. Don’t let your spouse truly describe you as “Stubborn.”

Unforgiveness:

I think the marriage relationship is one of the most vulnerable relationships.  You are most intimate, it is a serious commitment and it demands daily sacrificing, selflessness and compromising.  It also requires complete trust and loyalty.

Let’s imagine a scenario where both husband and wife decide to start a bank account together, with each of them saving an agreed amount monthly ($400).   They both have access to the accounts, meaning they can withdraw when necessary but there are conditions for doing so which includes; Both must agree to withdraw for the purpose identified.  In this Scenario the wife goes against that agreement and at a time when the account has a balance of $10,000 dollars, she withdraws five thousand on her own to lend to a close friend.  The husband finds out after reviewing the monthly statements and the explanation provided by the wife, when asked, was that she intended to tell him about it but, completely forgot.  Clearly, in this scenario, the wife is wrong; I hope you agree with me on that.  However, considerable damage is done here as the husband is completely shocked that she would do such a thing, especially after they agreed to the conditions set.  By each other holding their end they were able to save up to $10,000. 

 There was no discussion, no agreement on this withdrawal.   I could imagine he would be disappointed and hurt.  Bear in mind, that the wife has never done anything of this sort before.  Even though the wife shows genuine remorse, it can be difficult for him to trust her again and he can be very reluctant to start similar projects that require this level of commitment and trust.  It is a wedge placed within this marriage and if the husband cannot forgive and move on, moving forward will be difficult.  This is just one example, we can seek to brainstorm many other circumstances in a marriage that can seriously erode the issue of trust.  One’s inability or unwillingness to forgive, would certainly rock the boat and place serious doubt in the minds of both persons about the future of their marriage.   It is possible however!

Jealousy:

Could I be so jealous of my husband that I silently wishes that he fails at something he loves.  Jealousy is devilish, destructive and ugly; no part of it is healthy.  There is no point being jealous of anyone, as we are not meant to be the same, to have the same personality, qualities, characteristics, gifts and talents.  It can be rather stressful trying to keep up a jealous attitude.   It happens however, you and I have experienced those biting moments of jealousy, and we understand that it must never be tolerated.  The question is, do we ever get jealous of our spouses?  We do, but we shouldn’t.  While we are meant to be one, you may be able to sing beautifully, and all your spouse could do is whistle for his supper; I truly think that is ok.  You may be able to draw a group of persons the moment you start to speak, and your spouse may have to work twice as hard to get their attention.  The point here is that we are meant to be different and to embrace each other’s differences, this is how beauty in life is created.   God created colour and variety intentionally; it was no mistake.   The next time he flashes his bright smile and the room explodes and you feel the jealousy coming on, talk to yourself and remind you to stay purpose focused.   Remind yourself that this is just one of the things that makes him special and makes him yours.  Smile on darling, smile on, you enrich our lives when you do.

Selfishness:

There is absolutely no room in your sweet marriage for selfishness.    Well, yes, you do need to be alone at times, you need to have your own quiet time, go visit your girlfriends/boyfriends etc.   These activities are all healthy.   We can be selfish however, when we neglect the feelings and needs of our spouse, seeking to satisfy our needs and our feelings only.  It is an insensitive, limited view of life, that hinders you from truly honouring and serving your spouse.  Your decisions are determined based on what is in it for you than what is in it for you and your spouse.   Love is certainly not selfish; the word of God says so. 

Every decision must be made in the light of God’s word and his will for your life as a couple and if your decisions and activities in life is destroying that focus, then it is destroying your marriage and not building it up.  Your spouse should agree with whatever you are pursuing personally and whatever you are pursuing personally should not only benefit you but benefit your marriage.

 An unthankful complaining spirit:

Are you always complaining about what your Spouse did not do, cannot do or who he/she is not?  The question we need to ask ourselves is, “Does it really help to complain?” “Do things improve when we do?”   I would suggest meaningful discussions instead, choosing the right time to express your concerns, suggestions for improvement etc. This must be done respectfully and in genuine love.   Let’s replace nagging and complaining with constructive criticisms, supported by recommending alternative ways to doing things.  Be sure to appreciate your spouse when they do things right, when you see them making the effort to make you happy or just to get an important task accomplished. Don’t be a miserable complainer, it is not a supportive gesture and would only drive you apart.  A complaining, unthankful attitude towards your husband would hinder you from growing more intimate, where you both feel supported and uplifted by each other.

Lack of faith:

I really believe that our lack of faith could hinder us from supporting our spouses all the way.   If we doubt instead of exercising faith, we would be an obstacle to our spouse’s growth.   It can be challenging having a spouse who doubts all the time; when a possibility or opportunity arises, you may be faced with a lot of “buts” or “what if’s”.  We allow ourselves to see all the hindrances when we push aside faith and live in doubt, and many times we do not understand how depressing it is for our spouses. Whether it is to start a new project, or to take a simple step of obedience to the Holy Spirit, we need faith and our spouses need to have faith with us. 

I love that the Bible says that “without faith it is impossible to please God”, Hebrews 11:6.   If we really believe that God is who he says he is, why do we doubt in his ability to direct our every step?

Let’s be sure to guard our attitude towards God’s word and don’t be a hindrance by exercising doubt and not faith.

I do hope this short article opens your eyes to some of the things you may be doing that may be negatively affecting your spouse and your marriage.

A Mother’s role – Featuring the Beutow Family

When we think about living purposeful lives as parents, we ought to always remember that we have a very important responsibility.   From the time you conceive and there is a baby growing in your womb, to the day you die, your responsibility as a mother is with you.  What we need to understand is that as our kids grow their needs change and it requires you to be adaptable and sensitive to those needs, if you are going  to continue playing a significant role in their lives.

Sometime in February or early March, I was scrolling through my Facebook home page and an article written by one of my F.B. friends caught my eye.  Once I started reading, I wanted to read it to the end.  I immediately connected with the story, as a parent, and also, because it came across as sincere and honest and yet tenderly sweet and touching.   Immediately, I thought, this is so good, others should read it; or rather, the world should read it.   My friend was simply sharing her heart, and her experience, as a Mother of three.

I linked her up after reading it and asked if I can share her thoughts/story on my blog.    I am so happy she said yes, and because she did, you too can read it.  Thank you Misty!

This piece of writing is more of an inspirational testimony or reminder of the precious things in life: Written by Misty Beutow, on February 26th, 2018.  Misty is a Godly Stay-at-Home Mom seeking to honour God in her service as a mother and a wife.

Here is her short story. (Featured pic; Misty & Andrew)

“Yesterday Andrew and I took a short road trip; it’s about a 2-hour drive.  For the first 30 mins or so, we enjoyed our road trip snacks and had great conversation.   After a bit he wanted to read his book, but the sun was too bright, so he hopped in the back seat.,,,,,,silence.

Then, on the way home, he wanted to read his book, more silence.   As he sat in the back reading and I drove in the quiet, I began to think back on what my mother-in-law said over the weekend. “When I walked into your house, it was different.  It used to be chaos, loud and crazy.   Now I walk in and it’s so quiet.”

It’s a new stage of life at our house; gone are the days of diapers and “sippy-cups”.   No more pulling on my pant leg and crawling up in my lap.  No more, mommy can you get me a snack.  No more cleaning up mess after mess after mess, only to find another mess.  Those days were exhausting; 3 children, ages 3 and under, can wear a mama out.

But things are different now. While my kids may not have the mindless and yet physically exhausting demands, they still need their mom. They may not need me to make them a snack, tie their shoes or kiss their ouchies, but they do need me emotionally.  They need spiritual guidance; they need me to help them navigate their independence. They need a shoulder to cry on when their heart is hurting and they need me to be their biggest cheer leader and greatest fan.

As your kids get older, and they seem to be more independent, don’t pull away from them.  Don’t let them do too much of their own thing.  It may seem like they don’t need you, but they do. Now more than ever, they need your guidance.  They need you to point them to Christ, they need you to teach them how to love when they want to fight. They need you now more than ever!  So, while there maybe silence (And you thoroughly enjoy it😉) there is still a need for you, mama ❤”

The Beutow Family.

Hope you mothers are inspired to gracefully embrace every stage of your child’s life.

You are my inspiration! Thank you!!

I started this blog on my birthday, September 25th, 2017,  to be exact, and today five months after, I know more than ever, that I made the right decision.

I prayed about it, pondered on the idea because I never wanted to just do something because it sounded good.  I try to please God in every decision I make.   I have not done so every time, but I can say most times.

This blog gave me an opportunity to breathe, to exhale, to share things as the Holy Spirit would prompt and nudge me to.   I have been blessed by your feedback, online as well as offline, I have been truly inspired by your kind words.

Please know that I appreciate you and the fact that you are taking the time out to read what I write.   My goal is to make sure each post is sound, inspirational material that brings glory and honour to my Saviour and King, Jesus Christ.

If you have not subscribed and you think it is something you would like to do, please scroll down, looking at the right side of the page, you would see a button for subscribing.  It is easy, just read and follow instructions.

Feel free to send me an e-mail at anytime at fleurjerry4@gmail.com.   I would love to hear from you, pray with you or just chat about God’s grace and his unexplained power, that allows us to overcome all odds.

Once again thank you for visiting!

Don’t blame it on Daily Routines, find smart ways to enjoy your Marriage.

I work a minimum of eight hours every day.  My day starts with some quiet time, reading a verse or two from the bible or a chapter.  Sometimes, I opt. to read by “Daily inspirational”.     My next step is to either head to the kitchen or the ironing board (if I did not iron before).   Usually, if I head to the kitchen my husband would head to the ironing board and vice versa.   Most times, it is still necessary to wake the children, then it is time to shower, dress, eat our breakfast, brush our teeth, grab all the bags and head out to either catch the bus or get into our vehicle.  At the end of the day it is another routine.  Usually, I am thankful for weekends and I would prefer to do nothing!  But that’s not possible if the upcoming week is to run successfully.

These are “must do” routines that I sometimes wish I could skip at times.   Now, I would love to be out with my husband some more, but it is difficult to make it happen and on top of that it is much easier and comfortable just staying at home after a busy week.

So, this post is about being smart and trying to create those special moments together, as husband and wife, when your life is filled with “must do” routines.  It has nothing to do with complaining, because our routines are necessary if we ought to instill the value of work and discipline in ourselves, and in our children.   Routines are necessary if we want to carry out our goals.  We should not despise it entirely, we need routines.  We need to make sure however, that it is worth it, it is going to count for something. In other words, don’t spend time doing routines that would build bad habits.

Now I told you this post is about being smart and trying to create those special moments, as husband and wife, amidst the demanding schedules.  Usually, we are burnt out at the end of the day and we are not inspired to do anything right! Well for you who prefer life as it is, boring,  you may not want to fight for more fun in your marriage but then you would miss the opportunity to grow and to discover greater experiences in your marriage.  We need to remind ourselves that our lives must be meaningful, this means that it is not ok to become comfortable, just being married and taking care of your family.   God wants us to enjoy our lives to the fullest; This is purposeful-living. The world needs to know that marriage, as God intended it, is still to be desired, still beautiful.

I have some ideas you may find funny, too simple or insignificant.   I dare to say, they are not.   I understand though, that every relationship is uniquely different and what may work for the couple down the street may not work for the couple on the hill.   To deal with that, I promise to give you ten or more practical ideas 😊.

Idea no. 1

You can invite your spouse to lunch during your lunch hour.  Maybe you can call in and order your lunch in advance (if possible), so that too much time is not spent waiting on your order.

Idea no. 2

On the days when you both don’t have to go to work or to the office, stay in bed a little longer and just love on each other.  You can even have breakfast in bed.

Idea no. 3

If your spouse needs an everyday item buy it and wrap it or tie a ribbon around it and present it to them.  You can add a love note.  Here is an example:  Let’s say your spouse needs a new tooth-brush.  Purchase a tooth-brush in their favourite colour, tie a ribbon around the tooth-brush with a love note that says something like “For you Hun, come breath on me with freshness” You can add, giggling emoji’s all over your note.   Sounds crazy right!

Idea no 4

Have a bouquet of flowers delivered to your spouse at work or at home; some men do enjoy flowers as well.

Idea no. 5

Offer a massage at the end of a tiring day!   It does not have to be a full body massage, you can focus on where they need it most.

Idea no. 6

Serve them water or food in a special dish.

Idea no 7

Leave love notes under their pillow.

Idea no. 8

Offer to help with chores and chat about topics they care about.

Idea no. 9

Sometimes an evening jog can do wonders for our bodies, and our relationship, go jogging together. Don’t make it too long however, you need to return home with some strength for your shower and anything else that you wish to enjoy.

Idea no. 10

Have ice cream in bed!  I love this one!!

Idea no. 11

Watch a great movie together, in your living room of course, remember I am catering for couples who are very much engrossed in their family life.   This you can try to do as you wine down after a busy day.

Idea no. 12

On a day when you are both going to be home to enjoy it, clean your room with added zeal; give it that fresh feeling.  You can purchase new sheets or add a green plant or light scented candles. Ideas here are unlimited.  It can be a new piece of furniture, a picture of both of you on the wall, new curtains or simply changing the layout of your room

Idea No. 13

Read the bible together and discuss verses that inspire you.

Idea No. 14

Plant a flowering plant together and agree on a name to call it.

The ideas above would help you to stick-in special moments weekly, when it is difficult to find that quality time.   As couples, we need to make greater efforts however to ensure that quality time together is experienced frequently.   We need more than just the little special moments, as important as they are. It may be necessary to ask someone to baby sit for you so that you can get out of the house and spend a romantic or meaning evening together.  If your parents are still alive they may be willing to have their grand-kids sleepover.

Additionally, you should try your best to make birthdays and anniversaries a big thing, plan, and agree together what you are going to do, unless of course, you are planning to surprise your spouse.

Let me challenge you to turn your world around, don’t just sit and complain, do something to make a difference.  You may do something today and be hit by a block of discouragement tomorrow; Don’t let that stop you.   Keep doing!

Best wishes to you for a less boring marriage.  It is up to both of you to make things rock!

The loving husbands’ response to letter written by wives

Dear Wives,

We are greatly moved by your letter, and stirred in our hearts to be better leaders.  We admit that we have sometimes taken your need for communication for granted, but don’t think for a minute that we do not want to connect with you as well, please forgive us.

The fact that we may not be talking as much as you do, does not necessarily mean something is wrong.  Sometimes we prefer to be quiet, sometimes we prefer to say less.  Many of us were not cultured to communicate effectively, we have not seen that in our Dads and we had to learn how to communicate on our own.  I must admit, that you our wives, have contributed to our growth in this area.

For us, we are prone to act independently and because of that, we sometimes fail to show appreciation for the important role you play in our lives and in our marriage.  You help us to live structured lives and your support helps us to be who we ought to be.  Without you, we would miss the important details.   If you do not support us effectively, we would feel lost, misdirected and in need of filling that gap.

We are growing every day to understand your needs, the level of communication required by you is a little different to what we require, and we need to grow to understand you better.

Please don’t demand us to talk when we don’t want to, it pushes us away and we can be quite defensive when we feel pressured to do as you wish.  We ask that you be sensitive as well.  Remember, we too need to communicate, we ask questions and we want you to answer.  There are the obvious basic details that we think we should know and that’s sufficient.  As we grow to be more sensitive to your needs we would begin to pay attention to the “little things”.

You are our world, we love you dearly and we want to make you happy.  It is well with us when you are happy and content and willing to patiently work with us to achieve greatness.   We believe that our intimate problems should stay at home, between both of us, not with our in-laws or our best friends.

Despite what you may think, we do want to guard, protect and comfort you.  Forgive us for being insensitive at times; the art of being tender doesn’t come easy, but we do try.

Come walk with us, don’t think too much of our silence.  Let’s grow together in love, in contentment and in Godly wisdom.

Loving husband on behalf of the many loving husbands who have read your letter.

A Letter to our wonderful husbands

Dear Husbands,

I am writing you on behalf of the many wives I have met during my life.    I have assumed responsibility to express our thoughts, on what is important to us, as the woman at your side; your most suitable help.  These are some of the things that matters to us in our marriage and we hold fast to the notion that they are necessary for a successful marriage.

Communication is the key to us feeling connected with who God has chosen for us, you, our darling husbands.  When we say communication, we are considering it on a holistic level.  We want to hear you, feel you and be allowed to comfort you.  In turn we want you to hear us, feel us and comfort us.   You may not believe it, but it is important for you to express your weaknesses as well, not just your strengths.  We want to talk about anything and everything, from our spiritual growth and struggles to our emotional pains, our dreams and aspirations and our challenges at work.  We want to be able to share all our concerns with you, whether it is about our relationship or something else of importance; the children, the house, our health, future, vacation or retirement.  We need to know that you are present and interested in everything that concerns us both, and our children.   We cannot sufficiently emphasize how much we need you to be less silent and more vocal; it makes us feel special and valuable; it gives us a feeling of security and belonging.

It is also important for us to pray together; we want to involve God in our everyday decisions, with you right at our sides.   We can only begin to imagine the openness and oneness we can experience if we would consistently meet, at the feet of Jesus. Together, as God speaks to us, we would have the opportunity to defeat our common enemies and soar to heights above.

We know sometimes, we want to talk about everything and it seems as if we are always digging deeper, it is because of the way God has made us.   He made us to pay attention to the finer details of this life.  We are learning every day, how to talk only when it is necessary, and we just need your loving patience.

Please, however, do not take our need for connection for granted.  Do not ignore our pleas for attention through daily communication that ignites our souls.  We would be healthier for it, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

We ask for your commitment to our journey together by leading the way by ensuring you are present and ready to communicate with us freely, honestly and lovingly.

We believe that consistent, open communication with you is essential to building a rich relationship with each other.

We love you!

InspireMe on behalf of the imaginary wife club.

Stay connected to the blog to see the husbands’ response, to be posted on Saturday, 16th December.