Does this describe you?
“I often tell people, I am not in a relationship; I do not have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I have friends, and that is all there is to it, we are just friends. In the back of my mind, I am asking myself, am I being honest?”
Michael and I are good friends, we talk everyday, if I don’t call him or if he doesn’t call me, the day is not the same. I think of Michael several times during the day. Michael has other girlfriends, but he is closest to me and they know we have something special. When it’s Michael’s birthday, I need to get him something special. Michael sends loving notes and comments to me, he means a lot to me. He has never officially asked me to be his girlfriend, so, I guess he is not my boyfriend. I wonder what I would do if he meets a new girl and she becomes his new best friend.
Does this sound like your diary!!
If you want to pursue meaningful relationships, do not just follow the flow, think through all your actions. If you are “just friends” (male and female) then your expectations should not go beyond being “just friends”. There is no need to call your “just a friend” everyday, to prove that you care. You do not need the approval of “just a friend” before doing something important. Be free to live your life and let your friends know that they will always be your friends, whether you speak to them today or not. Your “just a friend” does not need to know every personal and intimate detail about you.
Think about it, are you really just friends?
Even our families can become disconnected. Family relationships do not automatically blossom, because we were born from the same mother and father. It takes work, effort, and strategy.
Here are some quick tips on keeping your family connected:
- Insist that all eating takes place in the dining area and not privately in the bedroom.
- As parents, share things about your day – the exciting and the not so exciting; keep your family in the know.
- Read a book together
- Pray together
- Support each other’s activities eg: your son’s football match, your wife’s book launch, or your husband’s pet projects
- Go on feild trips together
- Plan a social and invite close friends and extended family
- Watch a movie together
- Go to a concert or live show and sit together
- Call a family meeting when there is a need to establish or clarify expectations
- Always be ready to apologise to each other.
- Remember to appreciate each other for the little things
I can hear you asking, “When should I start dating?”.
I have some answers for you, hope they would help.
- You are ready for dating when you are mature and independent enough to manage a long-term relationship and to commit to marriage for life.
- You are ready for dating when you have discovered your identity and you understand yourself and the reason why you were created.
- You are ready for dating when inner beauty is more important to you than outer beauty.
- You are ready for dating when you have completed your secondary and tertiary education and are engaged in gainful employment.
- You are ready for dating when you can communicate effectively with others and are able to manage your emotions well.
- You are ready for dating when you have learned to honour and obey your parents (it does not matter your age) and others in authority.
- You are ready for dating when you are able to put others first.
- You are ready for dating when you have recognised that you need God’s direction and wisdom, to truly succeed in this life.
Now, as teens and young adults, it is healthy for you to have friends (male and female) and to socialise, go out together. Group activities are best at your age. They would help you to build great relationships that would last a life time and of course build your social skills, without distracting you from your personal development, and your goals.
More interesting posts coming soon……
Following my post of October 14th, 2017……(tips for a successful marriage continues).
9. Study the word of God together, pray together.
10. Think positive thoughts about your spouse; speak positively about your spouse to others.
11. Correct each other behind closed doors or in private.
12. Always be ready to say “I am sorry”.
13. Do not wait for special occasions to do special things for each other.
14. Pray for your spouse daily.
Have a successful marriage!
- Avoid giving each other the silent treatment, talk about everything.
- Sleep on the same bed, share the same bedroom (it is your “haven” your “save me” spot where privacy should be guaranteed)
- Avoid doing things or habits that your husband/wife seriously dislikes.
- Listen when you are being spoken to, do not interrupt while your husband/wife is speaking to you because you know better or you are angry.
- Work out your problems privately, if you need help from an outside party, agree together who that trusted person will be.
- Be honest at all times to ensure trust is maintained, do not allow your husband/wife to believe something that is not true by staying silent.
- Go out together, get out of the house and do special things together that would build healthy memories and add colour to your lives.
- Forgive your husband/wife when they have done wrong.
- Study the word of God together; pray together.
Try these tips and watch your marriage flourish!!!
(To be continued…..)
Feel free to share your views on the tips shared…..
It is Sunday afternoon, the weather is a bit overcast. I am sitting in my living room with my laptop on my lap thinking about marriage. The thoughts that came were quickly penned to paper, with a hope to expanding them later.
As I browsed the internet, my eyes connected with this lovely poster on Pinterest and I fell in love with it immediately; it makes practical sense. It is never healthy for your marriage when either or both of you begin travelling in your own lanes. It is a selfish and lonely road to travel. As the poster says, we must find points of intersection and connection. Marriage is all about growing together! Good stuff! Note the hash tag on the poster. 🙂
Feel free to send your feedback on this cool poster.
I always desired a family, it was my “little girl into teenaged years” dream. I anticipated that one day, I would have a successful family (of course I defined success how I saw it). Actually, I could say I bargained with God, that if I consistently acknowledged His existence and His power and if I accepted that he knew what was best for my life, He in turn would bless me with a great husband and a great family. I kept my end of the bargain and He kept his end of the bargain; he gave me a great husband and a great family. Continue reading “Investing in your family….”