In marriage, true friendship really matters

True friends can have a meal together and not feel uncomfortable in each other’s presence.

True friends can sincerely support each other’s hobbies, dreams and projects.

True friends are willing to sacrifice something that is important, to them to ensure their spouse is taken care of.

True friends are willing to learn from each other.

True friends desire to spend time with each other.

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been married, it’s always a great time to reflect on the quality of your friendship and seek to improve. Marriage is a wonderful thing.

Here are some tips for building friendship within your marriage.

  1. Keep sharing your personal plans and ideas with your spouse and be ready to listen when he/she wants to do give an input.
  2. Don’t let jealousy ruin your happy moments; spouses can sometimes become jealous of their spouse’s friends and their accomplishments. Think positive and be happy for them.
  3. Show care and concern for your spouse’s family and friends.
  4. Make an effort not to forget to celebrate the special occasions.
  5. Take time out to enjoy humor and to be silly.
  6. Never try to make your spouse look bad in public; keep your disagreements private.
  7. Recognise and appreciate them openly.
  8. Support them in their efforts to practice a healthy lifestyle.
  9. Spend quality time with them weekly.
  10. Send them meaningful and inspirational notes and messages during the day.
  11. Call them during the day just to say “hi”.
  12. Support them in prayer regularly and let them know you are doing so.

It’s all up to you, to enrich your experience living with your spouse. It is not as difficult as we often make it to be, especially understanding that “With God all things are Possible!” It is much more enjoyable being friends.

Enjoy your marriage, it’s a blessing!

It’s the Prayer Walk – Come Walk With Me.

Am I to far away from the scene, from the pain, from the horror? To feel, to cry, to stop and adequately ponder? It happened again, children forced to look into the barrel of the gun. Yes, they are mere children, they’ve only just begun and its over.

It’s slowly becoming the scary norm of our waking up and our lying down. Mentally, I am sick of it, burdened and weary. It’s a sad and distressful hour. And yet, I am not the mother or the father. I am the distanced neighbour.

Am I becoming numb, unsensitive, unmoved? while for others life is now a painful memory pool. God, are you there? Are you really there? Something is terribly twisted and contaminated; darkness lingers around us. How could I offer hope for tomorrow when tomorrow often brings more pain, when the attacks on our children are clearly in vain.

I look out the window and its, dull, dim and still. I stare into the distance and I can see a flicker of silver, a light, a glow. I fear to shift my focus because the light is igniting something inside me. Something that makes me feel like breathing intentionally the breath I received, and to keep breathing again, and to step out and walk towards the light, my hands outstretched reaching out to those who would dare to walk with me.

We choose to walk towards the light, with every step our feet grow stronger and lighter. Together we walk, in the midst of darkness, in pain and in sorrow, confused and bewildered about tomorrow, but we continue to walk. The light gets brighter and our voices are lifted up into a glorious chorus of hope. Somehow, we have been enlightened and now we walk more intentionally, more purposefully, taking two and three, as many as we can take along with us, towards the light.

And so I have concluded that I can choose to be bitter, to hate and incite revenge or I can choose to be prayerful. I choose prayer for I have not prayed enough. Perhaps if I take prayer more seriously more lives would escape the wrath of the evil master. I vow to prayerfully walk towards the light, inviting others to walk with me.

It’s Mental Health Awareness Month

Today, it’s Saturday and I do not feel like lifting anything heavier than a cobweb. I have had a bit of a rough week and all I feel like doing is listening to uplifting songs and messages and scrolling through funny inspiring reels.

I gave in a little and then I decided to have a talk with myself. It resulted in me getting up from bed and creating this poster about mental health (see below). That’s it! I am motivated now.

It is important to remember that our mental health is our responsibility. Stop blaming somebody and take control of your life. As mental health awareness month wraps up, know that for you and I our pursuit of mental health never ends. Life can be rough and tough, it can be filled with uncertainties, painful losses, deep hurts and disappointments.

But, we can flip the page and see that life is also beautiful. It’s up to you to keep flipping the pages or to just keep staring at the page you are at. Instead you can choose to experience life’s beauty.

Stop the pity parties and stand up and be counted, go live your purpose!

The Gift of Mentorship

Living a life of purpose involves others. Life is meaningless if all we can think about is ourselves. The real joy comes from sharing your knowledge and experience with others in a manner that uplifts and empowers.

Today I am reflecting on the fulfillment that comes from giving through mentorship.

It has been 5 months since I transitioned from working as an HR Manager, within the traditional 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. work environment, to HR Consultancy, and the one thing I am most grateful for is the opportunity to mentor aspiring HR Professionals. In November, 2021, I embarked on a journey which presented much uncertainty and the opportunity to explore new territories. What I anticipated mostly was the opportunity to build my own business with my unique standards and services and to contribute to the development of my homeland. I saw myself making a difference within organisations and in the lives of their employees.

What I did not envisage was the opportunity to mentor young aspiring HR professionals who would simply be drawn to me because I am in the same field. They are on the look-out for individuals they can connect with and learn from; individuals they can trust. Their search is often fueled by a desire to know more and to excel in their field of interest. It is encouraging to see how they are humble enough to reach out and say to older professionals, “I value what you have and I need you to support me along my development journey”.

It is good to know that there are still young people who are focused and ambitious, with great attitudes. They see value in listening to those with experience and they understand the need to respectfully sit at the feet of those who have already walked the path they have chosen.

With the flexibility I now have, I can schedule mentoring sessions with individuals who need it, and I do this freely because I know it matters. It is the best part of this journey so far. Many of them may have had rough starts or major interruptions in their lives but they display an inner strength and determination that keeps them persevering.

My encouragement to you is that as you pursue your quest to be successful, don’t forget to personally invest in others. Take the time out to pass on valuable knowledge and experience. It can make a huge difference in their lives and yours as well. Don’t underestimate how it would enrich you. Seek God’s wisdom as you endeavour to positively impact their lives. If you ever get to mentor anyone, you are indeed placed in a very influential position and must do your best to make these shared moments count.

Let them be moments that are filled with valuable lessons, not just regarding the career they have chosen, but more so lessons for sound character building and for survival. Our world is saturated with selfish ambitions, and opinions and theories that are not founded on godly principles. It means therefore that opportunities that present themselves to mentor others are also opportunities to inspire them to consider following Jesus. You see, when we speak about sound character and survival, we must speak about spiritual transformation and hope. It’s only then our mentorship would be complete.

Mentorship is a gift, accept it with honour.

Wanting a Miracle

The stories around us of sick people, especially children, can really tug at our hearts. So many are sick, so many have been suffering for long periods. In most cases they have been praying for a miracle and God seems to be too far away to hear. I would often say to myself, Lord, you can do it, you are Almighty, show your power and your might. Please give them a miracle! I know those prayers are not being prayed by me only, many others are crying out on the behalf of others.

I am speaking of the miracle of healing of overcoming or winning over a terrible illness. Many never receive that miracle and they die, waiting to be resurrected to eternal separation from God or eternity with God. Because of this, we can easily become weary, doubtful, and hopeless becoming careless with our prayer life. We can easily let bitterness and rejection of God’s plan and Hs promises slip into our hearts. We can easily walk away from God’s protection thinking our efforts are no good.

I do get weary sometimes, tempted to ask the question “why” when I see someone suffer or even die. There is another side to all this though, the side where we ignore God’s wisdom in caring for our bodies. The side where we fail to educate ourselves about the food we eat and the aspects of our lifestyle that are not healthy for us. We fail to bring our bodies into subjection to God’s word. Instead, we make excuses all day long, never disciplining ourselves to experience change. Our bodies are then victims to our bad choices.

I wish to inspire us to think of another miracle, the miracle of salvation, that gives us the opportunity to overcome bad habits, addictions, pride, greed, depression, poor organisation and anxiety. It’s the miracle of freedom that empowers us to break the chains that oppress us, to be transformed, adopting new lifestyles and habits. It’s the miracle of victory! This miracle begins at the cross. If you are still struggling, tied up in all kinds of chains, it may be a good time to visit the cross. The miracle of salvation and forgiveness, is still available.

If you and I can show the World that we are empowered to change, to cease our bad habits and cultivate new ones, many would also receive the Miracle of Salvation.

God blessed women so they can have sons

It’s a good day to reflect on the wonderful gift given to women by God, the gift of bearing, nurturing and raising children.

Please don’t call him little boy or greet him by exclaiming “You got so big!”. Think about something more engaging like “It’s so great to see you, how are you doing?”

You see he doesn’t need to hold my skirt anymore depending on my knees to be strong so that his knees could grow stronger. He can now rise to his feet, on his own, when he falls he gets up! I never taught him to stay down. I am his Mama and I am proud to be his.

He no longer needs me to complete his sentences. He has come a long way building his vocabulary daily. From the moment he was planted by God in my womb his intellect began to develop and now his vocabulary is big enough and wide enough to impress his Mama. God’s gift.

He is no longer 3 years’ old or 10 or 16 or 18. No, he’s older, wiser, smarter and yet, I still call him “Baby”. “Baby, are you okay? I know you are now 21 but you are still my baby and that will never change.”

I am a proud, blessed, woman. I am your Mama!

If you are blessed with a Son , take a minute and thank God for your gift and never take him for granted. Take your responsibility seriously, even when he is older!

God’s grace abounds!

I always value a Good Plan.

Planning is a valuable tool. Have you ever noticed when you are nearing the finishing line of a project, task or a job, obstacles or distractions often reveal themselves? But then because you have planned and have planned allowing room for the unexpected, the surprises, you are able to stay on course and achieve your goal.

Some people never learnt how to plan. They live moment by moment and are often “caught with their pants down”. In some instances they are afraid to plan because they are afraid to fail. Some are even afraid of success. They miss out on great opportunities, wallow in regret and continuously seek to try catching up with life. Are you like that? Could it be me?

Do you like planning or do you think no one has control of tomorrow and planning is simply a waste of time?

I am reminded of a true story I heard concerning a young woman who knew she was dying of cancer and proceeded to plan her funeral. Do you think she was a planning freak? Do you see such efforts as extreme?

I dare to admonish us all to embrace planning some more. I have seen serious consequences as a result of planning being neglected or insufficient. We can plan our meals to encourage ourselves to consistently eat healthy. We can plan our relaxation time to ensure we have a balance. We can plan to build new habits, start new projects, get chores done and the list goes on.

I have found that successful individuals plan and sometimes their planning can be really deep or complexed. In other words, they value planning so much that they are willing to invest significant time into the process. I have found that successful individuals not only plan but they execute a high percentage of their goals.

Let’s all work on becoming better planners and committed to executing all our Plans.

Don’t just allow things to happen. Plan and implement.

The I-am poster series – I am the Vine.

This is another one of the “I am” poster series. Jesus also said that He is the Vine. As The Vine, He sustains, refreshes and nourishes. If you truly understand the character of The Vine, you would never desire to be separated from Him.

I was intrigued with this picture as I explored my options for this Poster. I chose this picture because it depicts green vegetation that is overflowing and lustrous, the same way we are expected to look when we remain connected to Christ. We stay connected by spending intimate time with Him, by meditating on his Word, by studying his Word, by praying and fasting, and through Christian fellowship. Stay connected! #inspirationforlife #beinspired #posterart.

Building new Habits

Building new habits could be tough. But the good news is we can be tougher than our bad habits.

Our brain works well with patterns, sometimes it seems to work the same way like an Auto Pilot, taking us through familiar experiences and cycles without us realizing that we have been driven by what feels good and what we know, when our desire is really to do otherwise.

We often find ourselves in a position where we have to “catch ourselves”. We slap ourselves in the face and say, “Wake up, get your act together”. Bad habits are so sneaky, sweet and comfortable, that sometimes we go as far as justifying the need to indulge one more time, over and over again.

I don’t know what your bad habits are but I know they should no longer be nurtured. You may feel terrible knowing that you have been trying to kick that bad habit for years and yet you continue to struggle. Don’t give up! Don’t ever believe that you can’t. It may just mean that you need to try a new strategy. Bad habits only rob you from your true potential. Therefore they cannot and must not win.

Start building new healthy habits today and watch those bad habits gradually fade away into your past.

Here are a few tips to encourage you along your journey.

  1. List the habits you wish to discontinue.
  2. Submit them to God and ask him for the endurance to pull through.
  3. List the consequences you would most likely face if you continue to feed those bad habits.
  4. Identify new healthy habits you can develop to help you let go of the bad habits.
  5. Share your desire to start building these new habits with someone in your household and ask them to hold you accountable.
  6. Journal your progress, including all your challenges.
  7. Recognise and celebrate small milestones as a means of motivation to keep pushing. Remember to thank God for enabling you.
  8. Share your success with someone who needs to be encouraged to do the same.

To make it even more practical I would share a personal example.

I love exercising! I feel great when I exercise! I have identified one of my bad habits as being inconsistent with my exercising plan. I would always find a reason not to. It’s a cycle of stopping and starting again. The consequence is that my body would not experience any significant long-term benefit simply because the results I desire require consistency. To combat this bad habit of not exercising or not exercising sufficiently, I can create a schedule around my family/work responsibilities and ensure that there are no clashes hindering me from pursuing my exercising sessions.

Further, I can ask my immediate family to encourage me when they see me lapsing. I can then journal my journey, the highs and the lows, noting and celebrating the highs. For example, my aim is to exercise three times weekly. If I can do that for three weeks in a row, I would certainly feel that I have made progress.

The good thing is I have experienced some of the short-term benefits of exercising, and that keeps me yearning for more. I never give up, no matter how inconsistent I may be. But, I need to kick the inconsistency habit, once and for all.

On the flip side of this scenario is a positive one. Since starting my blog, I have been trying to maintain a regular schedule of posting twice weekly, Mondays and Thursdays. Recently, I was finally able to do it for about three weeks consistently. It felt really good to achieve such progress and even though I recently fell out of schedule I can now say that I have made significant strides towards building a new habit. It is now easy to step back into the groove.

Be encouraged, work your strategy and kick that bad habit by doing things differently.

Feel free to share your experience overcoming bad habits or building new ones.

Creativity can be used to inspire.

I have discovered that the more I design and create, the more skillful I become. This design was created for me. I needed to be reminded to “Persevere”. As 2022 unfolded, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was going to be a year of daring steps, new territories and the need for me to make the necessary mental shift to sustain the next level.

I new it was a sink or swim situation and sinking was not at option. I tightened my shoe-laces and as we say locally, “band meh belly” and headed out in faith to do what I deemed to be amazing. Opportunities presented itself and I couldn’t afford to make the mistake and procrastinate or doubt a little.

After the poster was created, the thought came to me that I can probably use if as a wallpaper. So said, so done. It is now the wallpaper on my mobile phone and a great reminder for me to persevere.

You may be reading this and it resonates with you. Maybe you love to draw, paint, design clothing, create hairstyles, write poetry, create videos or something else. Why not use it to uplift another. Consider using it for the benefit of others and not just yourself.

When this wallpaper was designed I decided to share it with those who supported this Blog as a thank you gesture that I knew could be instrumental in motivating and uplifting them through-out the year, 2022. Use your creativity today to brighten someone’s perspective on life, to ignite hope or stir their heart towards happiness.